despairecidos

Kenton

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you lost me at hello. by despairecidos, literature

Literature

you lost me at hello.

i sat down amidst the broken glass and the smell of alcohol to try and piece together just where things went wrong cigarette burns and laughter still hanging in the air and that first kiss when i was so sure you thought i had been drinking way too much i had been looking for you for 4 long years and i finally found it here in this broken down building that really seems to resemble a heart did it make you think? for once maybe we were both jumping the gun and for one small moment... maybe this is love. so i turned away from this burning wreckage to place my feet on dry land i was hoping you would accompany me this one last tim

let downs and a slow chorus by despairecidos, literature

Sell this Sunrise by despairecidos, literature

Literature

Sell this Sunrise

so here i sit again... in this lonely passing pose... but i try as i may... to look through the grey clouds in your eyes... and pick up the pieces of what we had... here comes the door again... slamming too my delight one more time... so i guess i will call or see you again... waking me up to another lonely night... come to see me here... you know the number... no one's said where you went that night... i bet you're with him again... at least that is where my best bet lies... broken and pained... read the instructions... hold on and take this ride... here's the things i meant... but i never said...

deep burns in the skin by despairecidos, literature

Literature

deep burns in the skin

my hands run down your back... and i listen to your breathe... quickening and slowing to the touch... the covers hide any sign of evil... but the sun is coming up soon i know... and then you will see me for what i am... cuts and bruises... lies and tales untrue... so touch my heart... listen to it beat true... as it beats for no one... no one but you... and listen to the words... forming outside symbolisms in. y.o.u.r .head... i would kiss you one thousand times... if not more... never less... so touch me on my forehead... and make sure that i am awake... because this seems too perfect to be dreamland... and you seem too b

Your Hate for Us by despairecidos, literature

Literature

Your Hate for Us

i tuned into your apparent lack of taste for me... and quickly found myself lying on the floor... covered head to toe in your bile... and your disgusting self... don't take it out on them please... for your lack of everything clean... and that is why i cannot stand the site of you... you hate us because we'll never go away... you hate us because we're everything you want to acheive... same title... same phrase... it's this bottle that i am sucking at that makes me afraid to breathe... but i've got a plan... to drink until you aren't here anymore... it's you that i hate... and it's you that i will one day die from... killing my

You Know Us All Too Well by despairecidos, literature

Literature

You Know Us All Too Well

i watched you decend down the stairs tonight... waiting for you to see me hovering close in the shadows... but i guessed it best to stay and watch you come closer... this is the way i live... your ever-present wallflower... holding these walls like they were my own... and they are... my own walls now... oh God... i don't want you to die tonight... dear father... am i the star beneath the moon you love? am i the one you love to hold so close tonight... i've never thought about every face you made until now... but it's too late for goodbyes... it's too late for talking to corpses in the dark... burning wreckage in the lot outsid

Obstruction Engineer by despairecidos, literature

Literature

Obstruction Engineer

I had a dream last night of our first kiss… And you asked silly questions… …while I sat in amazement… waiting and missing... Lips hugged each other in a warm friendly embrace… seeming as if this was natural... and we had been this way all along... For the time being… In that dream… I was so happy… We held each other… Cowering soft and suddle on some others couch… And then within that dream… I awoke… And tried to tell you of the dream… In which we still sat in a happy embrace… But I thought it better to not… "This will complicate things…" I thought… So I woke up at six today… And tried to fall again… "that is weird...but ni

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'Reville' by despairecidos, literature

'Cokehead Belt' by despairecidos, literature

Untitled by despairecidos, literature

'missing keys' by despairecidos, literature

Literature

'missing keys'

and i didn't know just how bad this would hurt... until i saw the last trace of you blow apart... all the letters we wrote... all the kisses we blew... everything i meant to you is gone... and now you're writing letters... too long for me to read... asking me just why i do all these things... and all i can say is... "trust me one more time..." so i wait patiently... for some sort of answer... some kind of sign in the form of your eyes... but if the answers i want... aren't coming to me in the form of tears... then what is really the point?? i know that you're not there anymore... and at the end of the day... when this gun is

'You Never Wanted This and qu by despairecidos, literature

Literature

'You Never Wanted This and qu

you have eyes... that always seem to amaze me... and i wish they were mine... to gaze through all day long... to see me in the same way you do... do i have feelings for you? i don't think so... at least not in that way... but sometimes i get curious... and i sit and stare at you while you sleep... softly in my arms... and i wonder... what would we be like together? would we love each other... and think of no one else? or would i stand in the kitchen... and beg you to come talk to me? don't make me scream anymore... standing in this kitchen... i am pleading with you... kill me wonder maker... kill me... so i can feel myse

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You Know Us All Too Well by despairecidos, literature

Literature

You Know Us All Too Well

despairecidos

About despairecidos

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Artist // Literature

United States
Deviant for 20 years
www.betterknownenemy.com
He / Him

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My Bio

Current Residence: louisville. ky
Favourite genre of music: hardcore/screamo
Favourite photographer: John Alexander
Favourite cartoon character: JTHM
Personal Quote: "i hate you to death"

Favourite Visual Artist

salvador dali

Favourite Movies

Akira

Favourite Bands / Musical Artists

the locust, btbam, it dies today, the black dahlia murder, etc...

Favourite Writers

Tim Burton

Favourite Games

Dance Dance Revolution

Favourite Gaming Platform

arcade

Tools of the Trade

anything...

Other Interests

writing, music, eating, sleeping...

Posts

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despairecidos

May 25, 2004

even better?

0 min read

and then she took my hand and we waded out into the water till it washed into our mouths and the mud under our feet crumbled with each step and there was nothing left to do but tell her i have to let you go out into this ocean all by yourself because i cannot be what you need anymore i cannot be your sturdy mast in this ship you can steer for yourself now she looked at me for a moment nodded with tears in her eyes and then she turned let go of my hand... ....and drowned in the ocean

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despairecidos

Mar 26, 2004

at home again it seems...

0 min read

so here i find myself in the town i call home once again... sitting in the old college i used to go to... using up their bandwidth instead of my own... haha... i got to see my mom... and my wonderful Sarah... she is upset because she thinks we argue too much... i think it is just that we both have strong beleifs... and we are set in our ways of operation... soon we'll get back to normality... or some clean copy of it... i am going to see SPM tonight... and skate for a bit... which i need to start doing more often... my legs are turning to jelly... and i need to fix that... good day to you all... and have safe travels as you g

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despairecidos

Mar 22, 2004

Cassiopia

0 min read

Wide.. Wide.. Wide Open wide (open) (wide) open Cassio, Could You LOVE me more.....more.... can we be friends? On a journey to debate i call freedom Words unsung Hold me close Don't let the wind follow Don't let the wind take us away Cassio... Why the fuck would you do anything to work out all wrong It's my freedom Cassio, Cassio Cassio......